Tag Archives: creativity

What Happens When You Embrace Your Writing Process (Spoiler: Magic)

Last week I wrote a tongue-in-cheek post about writing myths I used to believe in. As any self respecting procrastinator knows, one of the best ways to avoid writing is to read about writing. I love reading books by writers, books for writers, articles about writing, quotes about the writing life. Sometimes I find it very inspiring.

bc8789f4-d683-48d0-96b8-582532fe498d

Other times it crushes my dreams. Because oftentimes reading about what has worked for other writers gives me false notions and expectations about what it means—and what it takes—to be a “real” writer. Real writers wake up at 4 a.m. and write for three hours in the dark. Real writers outline the entire story before they begin. No! Real writers should let the story unfold organically. Real writers focus on characters instead of plot. They churn out 5,000 words a day and write a novel every month, oh and also they gave a million dollars away to charity and are probably a better person than me, a “fake” writer.

People of the internet: I literally write for a living and I still find myself buying into this nonsense. It’s what kept me from finishing a novel for years. I felt like I was doing it wrong.

mockingjay-part-2-real-or-not-real

There’s one surefire way I’ve found to silence the “I’m not a real writer” voice in my head: accepting my process.

I outline as I go.

My writing is terrible until the third draft.

I write short.

I write best in the evenings and waking up early is something I will never willingly do

I write fast and bad. I revise slowly and thoroughly.

I use brainstorming and “research” as ways to avoid writing.

None of this is universal. It doesn’t all match up with what I’ve been told “real” writers do. That’s okay. It works for me.

I was avoiding writing by listening to the First Draft podcast the other day (10/10 would recommend) and Veronica Roth said something like “The only right way to write a book is the way that allows you to write a book.”

The things that help someone else write a book (or poem or screenplay or whatever) may not be the things that help you write a book. Writing is personal. We should not expect writing advice to be one size fits all. Accept what works for you and toss the rest.

When I gave myself freedom to write terribly, to go dark, to stop pretending I could form coherent sentences in the morning and to stop wasting time on outlines that would never go anywhere, I was finally able to finish a book.

Other writers probably love waking up early to get their word count in and find true inspiration from Pinterest and research. That is awesome.  For them. These are not helpful tools for my writing process, but just because their process is different from mine doesn’t make it any less real. The only “wrong” writing process is the one that keeps you from getting words on the page.

What about you? Have you broken free of writing advice you used to think was gospel? What faulty advice is keeping you from finishing your work?

And, as always, the best way to keep up with me is to sign up for my weekly newsletter.

And, also as always, here is a Lord of the Rings meme because what else am I going to do with my time?

4c8de40663dcb307505a1c51ea59a7a6

17 Lies I Used to Believe About Writing

17 Lies I Used to Believe About Writing

1.The Lie: All writers wake up at 4 a.m. and write for at least three hours in the early morning darkness

The Reality: A lot of people say they are doing this. Very few people actually do—and these people are not my friends because HOW?

748258d4-d278-4919-b827-d60d4a8205d2

2.The Lie: If I’m not an alcoholic/addict I will never make great art

The Reality:

Elizabeth Gilbert said it best:

I’ve always had the sense that the muse of the tormented artist – while the artist himself is throwing temper tantrums – is sitting quietly in a corner of the studio, buffing its fingernails, patiently waiting for the guy to calm down and sober up so everyone can get back to work. Because in the end, it’s all about the work, isn’t it? Or shouldn’t it be?

3.The Lie: If I don’t write every day I am a failure

The Reality: Writing consistently is more important that writing daily.

4.The Lie: I should read more. Writers read!

The Reality: Reading is often an excuse to escape into another writer’s world instead of doing the work of building my own

5.The Lie: Revising as I write is a GREAT idea

The Reality: Revising as I write is really an excuse to keep from finishing. And finishing a draft is more important than perfecting a chapter.

6c8e2ed9-bb2c-4878-a99e-1bec4ca29063

6.The Lie: I can’t move on to the second chapter until I’ve perfected the first

The Reality: See above. Also, there’s a hundred percent chance the first chapter is going to get cut so why bother?

Also, this quote from Julia Cameron:

“Perfectionism has nothing to do with getting it right.  It has nothing to do with fixing things.  It has nothing to do with standards.  Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move forward.  It is a loop—an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole.”

7.The Lie: People who have sold books are rich

The Reality: LOL JOKES NO

80f90159-a4e0-46e2-b478-df70f078f7a0

8.The Lie: The first book I write will be trash and I should throw it away immediately

The Reality: The first book I write (and anything I write for that matter) might be trash. Or not. The only way to find out is to show people.

9.The Lie: Good friends make for GREAT critique partners

The Reality: Good friends are terrible critique partners. Because they’re good friends. Never show them anything

10.The Lie: Don’t show anything to your CPs until the whole thing is finished

The Reality: If I’m brave enough to show my CPs a work in progress, the finished product will be stronger

11.The Lie: I need at least a year to outline and brainstorm my book

The Reality: Thinking is less important than writing. I’m going to throw the outline away eventually so I might as well just write now

12.The Lie: You definitely need to print out your first draft. Otherwise how will you revise it?

The Reality: Printing is expensive and I will never read that thing anyway. Just give in to the robot overlords and keep everything on the computer.

13.The Lie: Grammar makes sense and I should learn it

9836f339-5c62-4e6b-9967-3060c3854e40.gif

The Reality: I am an Editor and I’m still terrible at commas and I should just move on with my life

14.The Lie: Writing 50,000 words in a month is a reasonable goal and if I can’t do that I’m a failure and should give up on life

The Reality: No. Just. No.

2ed3894a-c8c3-4651-890d-22e2aadf4611.gif

15.The Lie: Agents will appreciate my sense of humor and I should use as many puns as possible in my query letters

The Reality: Nobody cares

16.The Lie: Writing a book is super fun and not painful AT ALL

The Reality: *crying in corner*

17.The Lie: There is a better time to write than right now

The Reality: The best time to start writing is now. Like, right now.

There is no future, imaginary world where I will have more time and energy to write. If I don’t make the time to write today, than it is not a priority. Jobs, busy schedules, exhaustion—these are excuses. If I don’t’ prioritize writing now, than I never will.

PS: If you like this, you’ll probably like my weekly newsletter. It’s short, it’s sharp, and it’s full of the puns I cut from my query letter. Subscribe here.

Why You Should Actually Celebrate Rejection

This is an excerpt from my Monday Motivation newsletter. Like what you see? Subscribe here.

Warning: Very sappy post ahead.

I was talking to the lovely highschooler I mentor a few weeks ago and she was distraught because she’d been rejected. She wondered if she should stop writing because she hadn’t won a national writing contest.

Did you get that? She didn’t win first place in a writing contest which THOUSANDS of students entered, and she thought it meant she was a bad writer. This is ridiculous and I told her as much (I said it nicely, don’t freak out).

7bf8a592-3105-45a2-a1ce-526d1d04a576.gif

Our conversation made me realize how often I’ve made similar assumptions in my own life. I wasn’t the best person on the team so I assumed I shouldn’t be on it. I didn’t get into the first musical theater program I auditioned for, so I decided I must not be good enough to get into any.

But here’s the thing: in order to get what you want out of life, you have to be willing to face rejection.

I’ll say it one more time for the people in the back: in order to get what you want, you have to be willing to face rejection.

In my short time on this earth I’ve been rejected for everything imaginable. I didn’t get most of the student leadership positions I applied for in college. I haven’t gotten 90 percent of the jobs I went after. When I was a performer I didn’t get into most of the shows I auditioned for. Most recently, when I was querying agents for my novel I had an approximate 60 percent rejection rate.

But guess what?

It only takes one yes.

I wish I could show you the incredibly detailed Rejection Spreadsheet I had when querying agents. It was intensely color coded and filled with all sorts of information about how long it took for someone to reject me, if they had anything nice to say, if it was a form letter, how thoroughly they’d crushed my dreams etc.. I’ll protect the innocent and not show the whole thing, but basically here’s what it ended up looking like:

35790ab6-c78c-43ff-9611-db11d1210ac8

If you’re wondering if Red was the Color of Rejection the answer is YES. Yes it was. You’ll notice there is exactly one green box.

It only took one.

I didn’t need 25 agents, I needed one. I didn’t need 10 jobs, I needed one.

We live in a world where what you want often lies down a path that someone else has to open the door for. If you want to be a lawyer, you have to get into law school. If you want to be on Broadway, you have to be cast in a Broadway show. If you want to play basketball, you have to make the team.

All this can make it feel like success is out of your hands. This is a lie. Success is up to you. Because in order to get into law school Because in order to get into law school you have to take the LSAT. To be on Broadway, you have to audition. To make the team, you have to try out.

It’s up to you.

Please, for the love of carbs, friends, do not let rejection keep you from knocking on the door. I have folders full of rejections for freelance pitches, jobs, and my novel. But I’ve sold pitches. I have a job I love. And I have representation for that novel.

It only takes one yes.

Keep going. Knock on the door. Make the ask. Start training. Send the application. Cold call the client.

And when you get the (inevitable) first rejection, don’t give up. Rejection isn’t cause for shame, it’s cause for celebration. Why? Because to get rejected you have to actually try for something. If you’ve been rejected, congratulations! Welcome to the club.

f339fde2-7011-4d34-b2d7-52b268580684.gif

Celebrate your rejections, embrace all the nos that come your way, and get very comfortable with doors being slammed in your face. But never, ever, not even for a minute, let any of those things make you think you’re not good enough. Do not let something as small and insignificant as rejection keep you from your dream.

It only takes one yes. So don’t stop asking.

PS: Want sappy motivation deliver straight to your inbox? Sign up for the Monday Motivation newsletter for GIFs than your heart can handle.

PPS: if you thought you could make it through this post without an LOTR GIF you were kidding yourself.

0b9dbd83-6782-49fd-8a21-ccacf1862a1f

 

How I Wrote 50,000 Words In Two Months (While Working Full Time)

If you clicked on this post, you would probably enjoy my Monday Motivation newsletter. Sign up here for the inspiration you need to make the life you want.

In January I set a short term writing goal for myself: write 50,000 words of my manuscript by March 1. Last Wednesday, February 28, I typed my 50,092 word.

During this time period I had 42 writing sessions averaging 30 minutes each. I was working full time and also happened to be revising my first novel for an agent simultaneously (that’s a story for another time). When I hit my wordcount goal no one was more shocked than me.

I’m a perpetual goal setter, but I almost never accomplish the tasks I set out for myself. That’s fine. I still get farther with goals than I would without them. But I wanted to figure out why this time was different. What did I do more effectively? How could I duplicate it for future goals?

First drafts are the hardest part of the writing process for me. I am terrible first drafter. I know everyone says that in a really cute “aw shucks” kind of way, but I really mean it. My first drafts rarely even contain complete sentences. I’m lucky if they contain discernible words.

I’m an Editor by trade and writing doesn’t click for me until I have words to work with. I hate writing every word of first drafts and so I made it my goal with this project to get the first draft over with as soon as possible. Getting these bad words on the page quickly is crucial because the important work of shaping and coloring in the novel will take much longer.

So I launched an investigation to figure out how I wrote 50,000 words in two months while working fulltime. I identified five key factors that set my writing approach aprt:

Five Tools That Helped Me Write 50,000 Words In Two Months

1. Set a goal in the Sweet Spot

The first thing I did that helped me accomplish my goal was setting a reasonable goal in the first place. I found the Sweet Spot.

The Sweet Spot is a target difficult enough to be a challenge, but reasonable enough to keep you motivated. For me, writing 25,000 words would have been too easy, but writing 75,000 would have been so difficult I wouldn’t have bothered to start. Fifty thousand words was the Sweet Spot. A stretch, but within reach.

To find the Sweet Spot first list your Unattainable and Too Easy goals.

So for example:

Unattainable: 75,000

Too Easy: 25,000

Sweet Spot = Unattainable Goal – Too Easy Goal

The Sweet Spot is the difference between these two goals. In my case, 50,000 words.

2. Quantify your goal

If you are a creative, quantifying your goal might seem counterintuitive. After all, how do you quantify art? (Insert smug mustache twirl thing here). But if you want to improve and set measurable goals than you have to choose a way to track what you are doing and how it’s working.

Measuring quantitavely in this sense, is not about measuring quality, it’s about measuring output.

Everything is quantifiable. If you are a painter, you might track how many days it takes you to finish a painting and how many hours per day you spent working on that painting on average. If you are a runner, you might track your time and mileage. If you are an actor, you might track how much time you spent practicing and how many auditions you attended.

By keeping track of my creative output, I was able to see what on earth I was actually doing. Because I kept detailed records of when and how much I wrote, I know that the most I wrote in one day was 3,000 and the least was 560, and that my average was somewhere around 1,200.

It also helped me to identify patterns. I write much faster and sustain energy for longer periods of time, later in the day. Most writing advice says you should write in the morning. I can do that, but it’s not the most efficient way for me to write. Tracking my writing made me realize I need to plan my writing sessions later in the day.

The only way to know what works best for you is to keep track of it. Lots of random internet advice told me I needed to get more sleep, but when I Heatmapped I discovered that I was actually happier with less sleep. Don’t take other people’s advice on what will work for you. Find out for yourself.

PS: If you’re not sure how to start keeping track of your time, I wrote an entire post on Heatmapping—the best tool I’ve found for quantifying personal goals.

3. Outline outline outline

As with many things in life, planning for success makes success more attainable. I’ve always outlined my projects, but normally I ditch the outline 1/3 of the way through. This is fine, but it meant I would start each writing session with, at best, a vague notion of what I needed to write. Over the last two months, I ended my writing sessions by jotting out a detailed outline of what I would write the next day.

This doesn’t just apply to writing. If you are a runner, make a running schedule. If you are a painter, sketch out what you want the finished product to look like. Start each day knowing exactly what you need to do on that particular day to reach your goal.

4. By law you get a lunch break. USE IT.

This one only applies to people who have goals outside of their bill-paying jobs. I have a fulltime job and consider myself very lucky to be employed. But my job means I have to think carefully about when I can write and need to make use of the free time I have.

I work all day, but I do get a lunch break. I outfitted my iPad with a mini keyboard. Now I have a lightweight writing device I can use to write during my lunchbreak. That’s a solid hour of writing every day.

One thing I’ve noticed about my friends who work office jobs is that they rarely take lunch breaks. Your company is legally obligated to give you a break during the workday. Don’t be a martyr. Take it.

5. Do NOT revise as you go. Ever.

The final thing I did that made a huge difference was not reviewing my work. I didn’t read a single word of what I had written. I just kept going.

Why is this important? Because starting a project is fun, but it’s easy for me to get so bogged down in perfecting the beginning that I never reach the ending. Perfectionism prevents completion.

Most dreams die in progress. Lots of people have first chapters of novels that they’ve edited to death. Few people have finished manuscripts. The first chapter, first sketch, first rehearsal, isn’t important. Finishing is important. And to finish you need to look forward, not backward.

For my last project, it wasn’t until the final draft that I started the story in the right place. The first chapter that I slaved over for months didn’t even make the cut. It wasn’t necessary. You will save yourself tons of time and energy if you commit to seeing a project through without trying to fix it as you go.

So there you have it. Five easy things that made it possible for me to write more efficiently and to have more fun while doing it. What about you? How do you reach challenging goals while meeting other life obligations? Comment below so I can steal your ideas!

Want more practicable info like this? Sign up for weekly motivation.

5 Simple Ways to Stop Feeling Stuck – Step 3: Start Heatmapping

This is Part 3 in a Five Part series.

Read the Intro

Read Step 1: Identify and Attack Your Triggers

Read Step 2: Make a Bored List

One thing I’ve learned about myself over year years of failure and embarrassment is that I am not good at recognizing correlations in my life. You’ve probably heard the phrase “correlation does not equal causation” in regards to data. On a scientific level, this principle holds true, but I’ve found that, on a personal level, correlation often does equal causation.

Other people are often than the ones who point out possible causes of a problem I’m experiencing. Friends have noticed that I tend to fall asleep if I eat a lot of bread or that I touch my hair a lot and that might be why it gets greasy so fast. These sound like obvious culprit, but before they were pointed out to me I assumed I just couldn’t stay awake during movies and that it was impossible to clean my hair. Connecting emotions to tangible aspects of my life does not come naturally to me.

Hence, Heatmapping.

If I had to pick one tool that I’ve found to be the most essential getting unstuck it would be Heatmapping. No contest.

I first discovered Heatmapping in college and it quite literally changed my life. I was exhausted all the time (like, fall asleep at 8 p.m. on my birthday exhausted) and there was no reason for it. I was happy and getting plenty of sleep and it wasn’t Winter. It was infuriating. I couldn’t stay up past 9 and I was tired all the time, but there was no discernible cause.

I found out about Heatmapping from Susan Dennard (if you are a writer, Susan Dennard is the Yoda you need—her website is incredible). Dennard used Heatmapping to figure out when she was most productive and what elements factored into that increased productivity. By using this technique she was able to figure out her peak work times and how to stretch those times so she could get more writing done.

So. What’s Heatmapping?

Basically Heatmapping requires you to track your activity and mood every hour of the day (you can modify this to every half hour to be more specific). I take this one step farther and also track my activities so I can correlate them with my mood. By tracking mood and energy level on a daily basis you can identify patterns over time. Maybe you tend to feel gloomiest at 3 p.m. or are more productive on days you drink less than two cups of coffee.

In college, I filled a folder with a bunch of copies of a Heatmap, bought some colored markers, and went to town. Within a few weeks I had noticed a pattern: the more sleep I got the less energy I had the next day. I kept tracking my sleep and eventually figured out that I need to between 6.5-7.5 hours to be operate at my highest level. This was a total game changer for me. I’d always been told that more sleep was essential to feeling rested, but in my case the more I slept the more I wanted to sleep and the more exhausted I felt. Since then I’ve to manage my sleep to make sure I’m getting the right amount for my body.

So how can you start Heatmapping? It’s easy and involves coloring so get excited.

1. Choose your template

Traditional, productivity Heatmaps use a circular grid. I find this confusing, but if circles float your boat, you can find a template of this model template here and a detailed explanation of how to use it here.

If you prefer a more straight forward spreadsheet, you can create your own version in Excel. This is what I did in college, but  lately I’ve been using Google Sheets. I like Sheets because it’s on the internet so I can access it from anywhere.

I used to print out pages and fill them in physically. If that’s your style, go for it! Any excuse to color is acceptable in my book. Personally, I find that it’s easier for me to track things digitally.

Here’s an example of what my Heatmap looks like:

Heatmap

I prefer to break my day into half hour increments (as opposed to hour) because I have a short attention span and tend to rotate activities more than once an hour.

If you’d like more info on how I designed my personal Heatmap comment below or shoot me an email and I’ll do a post giving more details on it.

2. Choose your color scheme

Next you’ll want to figure out what color scheme you want to use.

Here’s mine:

Red = time wasted

Green = peak productivity

Pink = lightly wasted time

Orange = TV/entertainment

Purple = socializing

Blue = sleep

Grey = rest, recharge, introvert time

Yellow = necessary life tasks (cleaning, commuting, etc.)

I have this pasted at the bottom of my Heatmap Sheet so I can refer to it easily.

Here’s how Susan Dennard color codes her map:

  • blue= sleeping
  • purple= cooking, showering, dealing with the pets/husband
  • green= creative flow zone
  • yellow= I’m productive but distracted
  • orange=  ugggggggh, I’m barely accomplishing anything
  • red= watching TV, reading, chatting with husband/friends

You can find more on Susan’s Heatmapping method here. I cannot emphasize this enough: if you are a writer and this type of color coding organizational stuff appeals to you, go check out Susan’s website immediately. She is the Queen of charts/productivity/words.

For other ideas you can check out Productive Flourishing’s model, which focuses more on energy level and less on activity.

3. Set up your supplies

If you’re going old school, print 31 copies of your Heatmap and stick them in a folder or binder. Plan on carrying this with you everywhere for the next month. You’ll also want to buy some markers or coloring pencils. If you’re going the digital route, make sure you have access to your Heatmap on your phone and laptop.

4. Map away!

Now’s the fun part! Start coloring in your boxes. I think it’s better to do this throughout the day as opposed to all at once, but if you’re struggling to remember to update the map on an hourly basis, you can do it once a day.

Tips for effective Heatmapping:

  • Set reminders

In order to get the best results, it’s essential to fill in the map every day—and to fill it in on the day you’re recording. It’s not helpful if you spend Friday morning trying to remember your mood and activities on Thursday. To help me remember to fill mine in I have reminders set on my phone and computer.

  • Commit to Heatmapping for 31 days

To get a sense of your mood and energy patterns, you need at least a month’s worth of data. You can start looking for patterns earlier, but for best results, stick with it for an entire month.

  • Be honest

When we start paying attention to how we’re spending our time and how that makes us feel, it can be tempting to lie. You might want to downplay how much time you spend watching TV or how many hours a day you waste trolling the internet. Don’t. Being honest about your life is the only way you can hope to improve it.

I’m found that simply paying more attention to the way I’m spending my time often helps me get unstuck. And Heatmapping is the best way I know to force myself to pay attention. Have you tried Heatmapping or another time tracking method? Let me know in the comments below?

Want more practical productivity tips like this? Sign up for my weekly newsletter.

 

5 Simple Ways to Stop Feeling Stuck – Step 1: Identify and Attack Your Triggers

This is Part 1 of a series on Getting Unstuck. Read the intro here.

The first thing I did when I realized I was feeling stuck was to try and identify the tangible triggers contributing to my stuck-ness. Below are three things I did to figure out what my triggers were and change my response to them.

1. Identify Your Triggers

Before I could attack my triggers, I had to know what they were.

To clarify: By triggers, I don’t mean things like “my entire personality sucks” or “I live in a rat-infested hole in Brooklyn”—those are life factors. I was trying to identify the emotional factors playing into the feeling of being stuck. Like I mentioned in the introduction to this series, I’m not actually stuck in any area of my life right now. Job is good. Apartment is great. Relationships are solid. But despite these facts, I feel stagnant. I’m not appreciating the everyday magic of my life as much as I want to. I’m going through the motions of a routine instead of experiencing the joy of being alive. It’s annoying, to say the least.

So anyways. Triggers. Basically, I wanted to see if my stuckness had any correlations with what I was doing. Had I changed something in my life? Here’s what I came up with:

 

  1. Increase in screen time (mostly television and Instagram)
  2. Not running as much as I used to
  3. Too much sleep (more on this later in the week)
  4. Nothing to look forward to travel/social-wise because Winter is dark and full of terrors
  5. Not spending my lunch break outside

2. Make a Wellness Checklist

The second step was to identify the flipside of these negative triggers: what things do I intend to do on a daily basis that make me feel good about myself and my existence? I made a Wellness Checklist. I actually got this checklist idea from Dax Shepard’s podcast (if you haven’t listened to the episode he did with his goddess of a wife, Kristen Bell, you are unnecessarily depriving yourself of joy).

Here’s my checklist:

  1. Engage in deep conversation with someone about my problem
  2. Go for a run
  3. Write it out
  4. Spend at least 30 minutes outside
  5. Leave the house
  6. Eat some vegetables

I resolved that the next time I was feeling stuck I would run through my Wellness Checklist. If I hadn’t done something on the list I would do it and see if I felt better. Rinse and repeat.

I also decided to tackle the first item on my trigger list: screen time. For me, the problem with screen time isn’t comparison, it’s mindlessness. Most of the things I watch on TV don’t really hold my attention—so I do something else like scroll through Instagram or add yet another magical zit cure to my Amazon Wish List, resulting in double screen time. I wasn’t making a conscious choice to invest my time in these activities. It was mindless.

3. Add a step

I decided there was no better way to stop a mindless activity than with mind games. The key? Adding an extra step.

Because these are mindless activities, all I need to do to stop engaging in them is make myself actually think about them. Groundbreaking, I know.

I have a bad habit of scrolling through Instagram when I’m bored. So I deleted it off my phone. Sometimes I watch Netflix before going to sleep. So I signed out of my account.

If you watch too much TV, you could try unplugging the TV so that you’ll have to really think before turning it on. If you drink to excess, try putting your alcohol in a locked cupboard. If you constantly check your phone for notifications, try putting it in airplane mode for 30 minutes at a time.

Today’s Un-Stuck Steps:

  1. Identify your triggers

  2. Make a wellness checklist

  3. Add a step that makes mindless activities mindful

Tomorrow I’ll be writing about the list that transformed how I spend my downtime. Hope to see you there!

Want more? Sign up for my Monday Motivation newsletter to get a metaphorical kick to the pants every Monday morning.

Why Fasting is the Secret to Creative Growth

Today is Ash Wednesday,* the day that marks the beginning of Lent for many people of faith around the world. Lent, for those of you who are not bombarded with reminders on social media about it every year, is a religious term referring to the 40 days leading up to Easter. It’s tradition for people to fast for these 40 days in preparation for Easter Sunday.

I had no idea what Lent was until I went to college and got band-wagoned into giving up something trendy each Spring. One year it was desserts. Another, Facebook. My friends gave up coffee or alcohol or carbs. In more recent years, I became suspicious of the benefits of Lent. It seemed like the things people gave up were less about some pursuit of spiritual discipline and more about personal benefits. Lent just seemed like another excuse to diet.

But in the past year I’ve awoken to the power of deprivation to spur personal and artistic growth. I’ve given up one thing each month since last August. Sugar. Coffee. Alcohol. Cussing. The practice started on accident. I did a spending fast because (shocker) I felt like I was spending too much money, and when it was over, I realized there were a lot of other things I consumed in excess and so I just kept going.

Fasting is most commonly known as a spiritual exercise and most religions incorporate it in some way. Muslims practice Ramadan. Hindus set aside certain days every week to fast. Christians fast during Lent. Jewish people fast to celebrate Yom Kippur.

When I started giving up things for set periods of time, I wasn’t doing it for spiritual growth. I was doing it for selfish reasons. I wanted to save money so I stopped drinking alcohol. I didn’t want to get addicted to caffeine so I gave up coffee. But what I’ve come to realize is that deprivation automatically forces growth.

In his book Emotional Intelligence, Dan Coleman writes that, “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse.”

This is an especially essential skill in a first world country where delayed gratification is not a given. In America, you can go your whole life without going without. This is a blessing. But instant gratification can quickly become a burden. When we stuff ourselves with an endless stream of food, entertainment, and material goods, we starve ourselves of the opportunity to want something.

Fasting forces you to be present in your life. Every time you say no to something, you are reminded that you are a rational being, capable of making choices. It’s so easy to glide through our days with our heads down and never look up. My default is to ignore the big picture of my life in favor of getting through another day. Fasting reminds me of the very simple, but entirely remarkable fact that I’m alive.

Sugar, television, expensive clothes, alcohol—all of these things are unessential. Fasting sloughs them off.

If you are feeling stuck or in need of a creative jolt, I invite you to use Lent as an excuse to give something up. If you don’t know where to start, think of the things you do on a daily basis. What do you eat? How do you spend leisure time? Then go with the thing that sounds the most terrifying to be without.

Give up your crutch for the next 40 days. You may be surprised to learn that you are perfectly capable of standing on your own.

*it’s also Valentine’s Day, an irony that gives me endless joy

How to Conquer Internet Addiction and Achieve Your Dreams

telephone-1822040_1920Headline seem like a bit much? What does the internet have to do with dreams (besides all the nightmares you have freshman year because you stayed up too late reading about serial killers…please tell me I’m not alone in this)?

I think addiction has everything to do with mediocrity. And one of the things I’m addicted to knowledge. In some ways, this can be good. I’m informed about world events, I’m full of fun facts about serial killers (see above) and women in ancient Rome. The problem is I spend way more time consuming useless information than I do making the things I want to make.

So I decided to Rumplestiltskin* myself for the month of October.

Some of you have been asking about my Information Diet and since I’m drowning in extra time now that I’m no longer perusing the internet (oh, the horror!) I figured I’d share more details with you.

What’s the Goal?

Someone asked me what the point was in giving up information. They phrased it in a nicer way, but that was the gist. It’s such a valid question.

When I gave up other substances for a month, it was not with the goal of cutting them out of my life completely. I had no plans to become sugar or coffee free (I’m not INSANE).

This challenge is different because my goal is to permanently reduce the amount of time I spend mindlessly consuming information. 

I’m starting with a month of cold turkey informationless-ness** so I can determine what resources I miss and how much time I should devote to information consumption.

Cutting out information is far harder for me than cutting out alcohol or coffee. I didn’t even let myself think about it until October 1 because I didn’t want to face the reality of what my world would look like without news. That’s exactly why I knew it needed to be done. If I’m afraid to go without something, it probably means I’m addicted to it.

A few others have asked me what I’m actually doing and if I have any tips for doing your own Information Diet. I’ve written before about how I use tricks and manipulation to force myself to grow. Here a few tricks I’m using I’m using to make myself mindful of the information I consume.

Info Diet Tips & Tricks

1. Track your time

I am firm believer that knowledge is power. One of the most powerful tools we can give ourselves is knowing how and where we spend our time. 

At various phases in life I’ve used apps, physical worksheets, and calendars to keep track of how I spent every hour of every day. This is a bit extreme for most people, but if you suspect you have a problem with the amount of time you spend online (or watching TV, staring blankly into space, whatever floats your boat) forcing yourself to account for it is a great way to motivate yourself to make a change.

You can use sheets with slots for every hour (like so) or use good old fashioned pen and paper. This is a super useful exercise for life in general, even if you’re not particularly interested in how much information you consume.

2. Change your triggers

Deciding not to do something is easy. Setting yourself up to succeed in ditching your bad habit for a better one is the difficult part. 

Humans are creatures of routine and habit. External triggers cue these habits. For example, my mind is trained to automatically open my email account when I get to work and to scroll through Instagram every night before bed. Even though I’ve decided not to do those things this month my brain is still going to want to do them automatically. To succeed I have to take action to replace these triggers.

Here’s a few practical ways I’m doing that:

  • Changing the home screen on my internet browser. It used to open to Bing, which displays the top news stories of the day.  Whoever writes those headlines is a genius who should make millions of dollars because I would click on the stories every single time. If I don’t see that when I open the internet browser (which I’m not really supposed to be doing anyway) I can’t get sucked in by those stories.
  • Delete apps from your phone. I’ve never kept Facebook on my phone, but this is a great way to reprogram what you do when you automatically try to fill time by scrolling through social media. You can’t do it if they’re not there.
  • Sign out of social media accounts. This way when your brain types in F for Facebook without you being consciously aware of it, you will be locked out. Forcing yourself to log in every time you want to check social media is an easy way to be purposeful about how much time you spend on it. I’d also unclick “stay logged in” on anything you don’t really need to be logged into.
  • Use Instapaper to save articles you want to read (shout out to Adrian for telling me about this app!) I get inspiration from everywhere and appreciate a good Longform article like nobody’s business. This app lets me save links people send me or that I stumble across so I can come back to them later if needed. If you’re like me, you also constantly stumble across names and events that you want to look up. Instead of looking these up immediately and tumbling into the tunnel that is Wikipedia I started a Note on my phone to list all of them. If I’m still interested after a month*** they will be there. 

3. Set Time Limits

Maybe a complete Information Fast is not your thing, but you want to be more mindful about how you consume information. Set a timer for 10-15 minutes of browsing time and when it dings, go back to work. 

4. Use a Break To Do Sheet

Second shout out to Adrian for sending me this awesome PDF from Lifehacker. I live and die by To Do Lists. Seriously I have lists for everything (I think I’ve mentioned about five in this post alone). Probably the one thing in my life I don’t have a list for is taking breaks. 

Resting is difficult. Resting well is nearly impossible–if you’re not prepared. If you know you want to unwind by watching the newest SNL Digital Short, reading that New Yorker article, or scrolling through Instagram, plan for it! This makes taking the break purposeful instead of mindless. Also, you will get the unparalleled joy of checking something off of a list. You’re welcome. 

5. Know how you want to spend your excess time

The point of consuming less is to create more. I’m challenging myself to fill the time I used to spend surfing the web with creative output—outlining a story, editing pages, or doing story research. Keeping in mind the big picture why of my Information Diet helps me focus on what I’m gaining instead of what I’m giving up. 

 

What about you? Do you have any hacks you use to trick yourself into spending less time online? I need all the help I can get!

If you want more made up words and tips for tricking yourself into doing anything, sign up for my weekly newsletter where I offer plenty of both.

*Is this a verb? No. Do I care? Also no.

**Another word I made up. Really rolls right off the tongue doesn’t it?

***I won’t be

 

How to Actually Make Yourself Do Something (In 4 Easy Steps)

“You don’t have to believe in yourself, you just have to do the thing.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZOgr6Nhp2M/?taken-by=alikaywould

Author Holly Black said this at the Brooklyn Book Festival this weekend (more on the Festival in my weekly newsletter, which you can get by signing up here) and it’s been haunting me all week.

I am lazy. My natural inclination is to do nothing, all the time. If no one interrupted me, I could probably read for at least seven years before noticing any time had passed.

I’ve spent years searching for the magical cure to my laziness. I’ve tried using SMART goals, building habits and creating detailed Calendars for Change. Nothing stuck. I’d be hyper productive for a few weeks and then drift back into my natural state of being.

I suspect I’m not alone in this.

There are tons of blogs, books, and speeches floating around in the world about how to do things. How to write a book, finish a screenplay, paint a painting. For those privileged enough to have a dream beyond mere survival, one of the great struggles of life is getting yourself to do the things you actually want to do.

This struggle is nothing new. Paul wrote about it in a letter to the Christian church in Rome in the first century.

“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.”

(Romans 7:15 ESV)

This is the story of my life. I hate passivity and laziness, yet I often live in those states. I know what I want to do, but the gap between it and what I actually do is vast. It is exhausting, to fail at something so simple.

Ben Hardy has written, “it’s actually far more exhausting to not work than it is to work.”

This is so true. Pursuing goals take energy, yes. But not pursuing thing them takes even more.

Most of the advice I’ve seen about how to make yourself do the thing you want to do essentially boils down to: if you really want to, you will do it.

This is not true. Plenty of people want to start companies, travel the world, or direct movies. Most of them take no action toward doing these things.

I’ve always found this advice useless. I want to do so many things and I do so few.

This year, though, I’ve discovered the secret to making myself productive and achieving my goals. It’s simple: trick myself.

That’s right. The easiest way to start is to trick yourself into doing it. Once I threw away all that hogwash about chasing dreams and artistic passion and focused on what actually motivated me, I discovered that playing mind games was the best way to get myself to do the things I wanted to be doing.

Here’s a few tips for tricking yourself into doing something:

1. Figure out what motivates you

First, it’s important to identify what motivates you. I am motivated by external expectations.

I don’t bail on plans with friends and I always turn projects in on time at work. It’s meeting internal expectations that I struggle with.

You might be the opposite. Maybe it’s easy for you to finish something when it’s a personal project, but you bristle at the thought of an employer deadline or outer expectations.

Gretchen Rubin has written an entire book about the four ways people respond to expectations called The Four Tendencies. You can take the quiz to found out how you respond to expectations here.

Once you’ve identified what motivates you it’s time to figure out how work within that framework.

This is tricky for internal goals—it can feel hopeless. How on earth can I motivate myself to do something if I only do things for other people?

Simple. I turned my internal goals into external deadlines. I will not work out unless I have to. This year I started signing up for races and telling people I was running them. Now I have to train because I’ve spent money on a race. I love deadlines and so this system works really well for me.

Don’t expect yourself to magically wake up one morning feeling motivated to make all the changes you want to in your life. Identify the things that have actually motivated you in the past, and figure out a way to create a similar set of circumstances in your present.

2. Put your pride on the line

Shame is usually a negative thing, but I’m not opposed to using it to motivate myself. When I tell my roommate I’m waking up early to go on a run, I’m more likely to do it because I don’t want her to wake up before me and notice I’m still in bed.

Put your pride on the line for your work. Post publicly about what you are doing. Tell a few friends. Tattoo a deadline on your body. Whatever works for you. Higher stakes will lead to better results.

3. Build momentum

Different goal setting systems recommend different goal sizes. The SMART system suggests setting achievable goals. Others recommend wildly unachievable goals. I’ve found the best way to meet goals is to find a sweetspot between what you can realistically achieve and what you would achieve in your wildest dreams. If you start out too small, you may forget why you needed a goal in the first place. If you start out too big, you’ll grow discouraged and give up.

The trick, as always, is to find balance. If you want to run a 5k, starting with a goal of walking fifty feet a day will probably not help you. It will be so easy to achieve, you’ll wonder why you need to train for the race at all. On the other hand, if you start with a goal of running three miles on your first try, you will likely be discouraged by how hard it is. (Unless you are one of those people who can just run forever without ever trying, in which case, I hate you.)

The key word here is momentum.

Momentum is the word my friends and I use to make ourselves go out in the city. Nightlife in New York doesn’t really get started until midnight or later, which, for someone like me who is socially akin to a grandmother, is asking a lot. We use the word momentum to get us pumped.

When we leave the apartment at 10, cold and tired and thinking all our plans of dancing and “having the best night ever” were foolish, we start yelling “momentum!” It’s weird, but it works.

The real trick to doing the thing you want to do is building momentum. You don’t wake up one morning with the strength to finish something. You take one step, then another, and build a consistent work ethic.

4. Objects in motion stay in motion

Once you’ve figured out how to motivate yourself and have started building momentum, the trick is to keep moving. Operate by Newton’s first law of motion: objects in motion stay in motion.

Just because you’ve started doing the thing you want to be doing doesn’t mean you’ve earned a break. Keep working. It is much easier to keep moving than it is to start moving. You’re in motion, congratulations. Don’t stop.

Like this post? Subscribe to my weekly newsletter for more insight into how to stop dreaming and start achieving.